dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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