Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
