Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
