she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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