he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
