VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
