So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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