They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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