Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
