He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
