We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
