I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
