ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize