i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize