i barfeds in our rink
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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