so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
