remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
