my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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