there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
