Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
