You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
its liver damage thursday
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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