around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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