I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
