shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
