So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
