its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
