Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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