It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
