i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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