its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
