"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
