Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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