check it out our google latitudes are spooning
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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