How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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