At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
