operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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