On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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