I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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