I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize