OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
