:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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