If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
