What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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