this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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