I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
