I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
