I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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