First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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