i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize