Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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