i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
