i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
