We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
