This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize