We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
