i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
