Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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