I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
