I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You are the jesus of drinking
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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