butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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