Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
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This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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