tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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