he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
