You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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