I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
BRING THE BAGELS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
